I was having a chat with a new friend today and we were exchanging stories about being working parents. I struggle with kids' schedules, days off school I failed to plan for, unexpected things (cars break down, kids get sick, life happens) while simultaneously trying to "do my job."
今天我正在和一个新朋友聊天，我们正在交换有关成为父母的故事。 我为孩子们的日程安排而苦苦挣扎，没有计划好放假的日子，发生意想不到的事情(汽车抛锚，孩子生病，生活发生了)，同时又试图“做好工作”。
I put do my job there in quotes because sometimes it is in quotes. Sometimes everything is great and we're firing on all cylinders, while other times we're barely keeping our heads above water. My friend indicated that she struggled with all these things and more but she expressed surprise that *I* did. We all do and we shouldn't be afraid to tell people that. My life isn't my job. At least, my goal is that my life isn't my job.
我把工作放在引号中，因为有时是用引号引起来。 有时候，一切都很棒，我们在所有汽缸上射击，而在其他时候，我们几乎没有抬头。 我的朋友表示她为所有这些事情而苦苦挣扎，但她对* I *确实感到惊讶。 我们都这样做，我们不应该害怕告诉人们。 我的生活不是我的工作。 至少，我的目标是我的生活不是我的工作。
你为什么要参加比赛？ (Why are you in the race?)
We talked a while and we decided that our lives and our careers are a marathon, not a giant sprint. Burning out early helps no one. WHY are we running? What are we running towards? Are you trying to get promoted, a better title, more money for your family, an early retirement, good healthcare? Ask yourself these questions so you at least know and you're conscious about your motivations. Sometimes we forget WHY we work.
我们聊了一会儿，我们认为我们的生活和事业是一场马拉松，而不是一场短跑。 尽早疲倦无助。 我们为什么要跑步？ 我们正在走向什么？ 您是否想获得晋升，更高的头衔，为您的家庭赚更多的钱，提前退休，良好的医疗保健？ 问问自己这些问题，以便您至少知道并且对自己的动机有所了解。 有时我们忘记了为什么我们要工作。
Saying no is so powerful and it isn't something you can easily learn and just stick with - you have to remind yourself it's OK to to say no every day. I know what MY goals are and why I'm in this industry. I have the conscious ability to prioritize and allocate my time. I start every week thinking about priorities, and I look back on my week and ask myself "how did that go?" Then I optimized for the next week and try again.
说“否”是如此有力，这不是您可以轻松学习并坚持的事情-您必须提醒自己，每天都说不可以。 我知道我的目标是什么，为什么我会进入这个行业。 我有意识地排定优先级并分配时间。 我每周开始思考优先事项，然后回顾自己的一周，问自己“进展如何？” 然后，我针对下周进行了优化，然后重试。
有时，原始努力并不能转化为巨大的影响。 (Sometimes Raw Effort doesn't translate to Huge Effect.)
She needed to give herself permission to NOT give work 100%. Maybe 80% it OK. Heck, maybe 40%. The trick was to be conscious about it, rather than trying to give 100% twice.
她需要征得她的许可，不要100％放弃工作。 也许80％可以。 哎呀，也许是40％。 诀窍是要意识到这一点，而不是试图两次给100％。
Yes, there are consequences. Perhaps you won't get promoted. Perhaps your boss will say you're not giving 110%. But you'll avoid burnout and be happier and perhaps accomplish more over the long haul than the short.
是的，有后果。 也许你不会被提升。 也许您的老板会说您不给110％。 但是，您将避免倦怠，更快乐，并且从长远来看，可能会比短时取得更大的成就。
工作生活 (Work Life)
Look, I realize that I'm privileged here. There's a whole knapsack of privilege to unpack, but if you're working in tech you likely have some flexibility. I'm proposing that you at least pause a moment and consider it...consider using it. Consider where your work-life balance slider bar is set and see what you can say no to, and try saying yes to yourself.
看，我意识到我在这里很荣幸。 有很多特权可以解压，但如果您从事的是技术工作，则可能会有一定的灵活性。 我建议您至少暂停片刻并考虑一下...考虑使用它。 考虑一下设置工作与生活平衡的滑动条的位置，看看可以拒绝的内容，然后对自己说是。
I love this quote by Christopher Hawkins that I've modified by making a blank space for YOU to fill out:
我喜欢克里斯托弗·霍金斯(Christopher Hawkins)的这句话，我通过在空白处填写供您修改：
红色女王的种族 (The Red Queen's Race)
Are you running because everyone around you is running? You don't always need to compare yourself to other people. This is another place where giving yourself permission is important.
您在跑步是因为周围的每个人都在跑步吗？ 您不必总是将自己与其他人进行比较。 在另一个地方，授予自己的许可很重要。
"Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else—if you run very fast for a long time, as we've been doing."
“好吧，在我们国家，”爱丽丝仍然气喘吁吁地说，“如果像我们一直在做的那样，很长一段时间都非常快地奔跑，您通常会到达其他地方。”
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!" - Red Queen's Race
“一个缓慢的国家！” 女王说。 “现在，在这里，您会发现，您需要做的所有工作才能保持在同一位置。如果想到达其他地方，则必须至少以两倍的速度运行！” -红皇后大赛
There's lots of people I admire, but I'm not willing to move to LA to become Ryan Reynolds (he stole my career!) and I'm not willing to work as hard as Mark Russinovich (he stole my hair!) so I'm going to focus on being the best me I can be.
我敬佩很多人，但是我不愿意搬到洛杉矶成为Ryan Reynolds(他偷了我的职业！)，我也不愿意像Mark Russinovich一样努力(他偷了我的头发！)所以我我将致力于成为我所能做到的最好的人。
What are you doing to balance and avoid burnout?
您正在做什么来平衡和避免倦怠？
* Stock photo by #WOCTechChat used with Attribution
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关于斯科特(About Scott)
Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.
斯科特·汉塞尔曼(Scott Hanselman)是前教授，前金融首席架构师，现在是演讲者，顾问，父亲，糖尿病患者和Microsoft员工。 他是一位失败的单口相声漫画家，一个玉米种植者和一本书的作者。
翻译自: https://www.hanselman.com/blog/give-yourself-permission-to-have-worklife-balance